Ana was a happy go lucky girl, loved by all and wherever she went she would spread her happiness and leave her presence like a fragrance of a perfume. People would look at her and say,” there comes our sunshine” … little did they know that the Ana they were seeing was someone different …her outward expression hid her deep inner pains and sadness which till today no one was able to discover not even her parents, friends and the person she loved the most – Peter.

Peter was her best friend since childhood and being her neighbour, it was understood that their families too would be best friends and as they studied and grew up together everyone felt that one day, they would get married and have kids and would always say their love is like a fairy tale…and they lived happily hereafter.

Little did they see or know what Ana was going through, she thought to herself why am I changing myself to make everyone around me happy and the more I am trying to please others the more unhappy I am ending up… why is this happening to me she wondered.

Sitting down with her best friend Sandra, Ana one day said, “Sandy no matter how good -looking, pretty people call me why do I have a nagging empty feeling deep within me, at first, I didn’t bother much and thought I was going through a phase and this will pass away but it just deepens. I have tried to do things that make me happy, breathe freely, live openly but the more I try to change myself the more difficult is the journey.

Sandra looking at her said, it’s nothing Ana I am sure it will pass away had Peter said something to you? No, Sandy Peter has always been supportive and loving towards me and been there for me always, apart from you he is the only person who reads my mind and knows what I am going through but I find it difficult to tell him all this.

I think I need some time off and to get back to the girl I used to be, she has got lost somewhere, its time I tried to find myself again before it’s too late. Saying this Ana got up and hugging Sandy said I guess it’s just a phase will blow away; you don’t worry thank for being a good listener.

Later at night Ana sat by the mirror combing her hair and suddenly she realized that the girl in the mirror was not her but someone else, someone even she couldn’t recognize…she felt a cold chill pass to her as if someone had crossed over her grave .. shaking herself off she climbed into her bed, put off the light and tried to sleep… but the thoughts kept troubling her.

Suddenly she found herself in another world, surrounded by people all trying to touch her, hold her, kiss her the more she tried to run away from them the closer they got. where am I what is happening to me Ana wondered where have I come?

She woke up suddenly and sat up, felt herself sweating even though there was a cool sea breeze blowing, turning on the lamp she had a glass of water and walked up to the balcony… sitting down on the rocking chair she tried to recollect her dream but her mind was blank as paper.

A sudden realization dawned on Ana, she realized that maybe she has sacrificed her happiness and her struggle to be perfect and fitting in would never happen and maybe she didn’t want to fit in anywhere, she felt that in pleasing others she had let the world put out her spark as she tried so hard to please everyone around her.

She realized that she was actually walking away from people, places and things that made her unhappy and that she was letting go of the notion that she is going to blend with the crowd. I need to embrace my unique individuality and make my way back to the person I lost somewhere along the way whispered Ana, I know it will take some time and it may hurt many but I have to do what I need to do to become and feel alive again. Re-assuring herself Ana came back to her bed and got ready to sleep saying “tomorrow will be a new dawn not only for me but for others too”

The next day Ana woke up earlier than usual and saw a new dawn, the sky was blue, sea waves were calling out to her, leaves of the trees were trying to touch her gently and birds singing was music to her ears…. how did I miss all this over the years wondered Ana and smiled.

Stretching herself she jumped out of her bed with springs on her feet and wandered out … her father was reading the newspaper and he looked up surprised and smiled, “up so early its only 6 am, “ I know dad replied Ana, and waving to her father walked towards the beach , her mother watching her from kitchen had a smile on her face.

It was as if it was the first time Ana stepped onto a beach, everything looked new to her, the sand, sea-shells, waves, even the dogs strolling on the beach looked new to her, she let the waves tickle her feet and breeze ruffle her hair, laughing loudly she raced towards the waves jumping and singing, “I am alive”

She never imagined that just sitting alone on the beach, watching the waves, could be so soothing, she had never done it all her life, always busy in school, house work, then job and friends, she had never given time for herself and suddenly she realized this was what she was missing in life –“solitude”

That day Ana realized that with whom she was, what she was capable of and where she is headed is not important what is important is to start believing in herself again and uncover her passions once again. People who love me and care for me will always be there, standing beside me every step of the way, supporting me always. I may not know where I am heading, how to get there but I can finally see the light and hope ahead and from now on I am gonna stand in my own light and let my voice me heard and take charge of my life.

On the way back home, Ana picked up some sea-shell and placing them by her bedside table, she smiled and said, every time I fall, feel low, sad and disappointed these sea-shells will remind me that no matter what happens in life never give up and believe in yourself always and come out as a winner not only in life but in relationships too.